A research proposal I sent out today - comments?

Brian Rice water@tunes.org
Wed Jun 27 09:20:02 2001

>Just a small marketing tip: replace "would" with "will". That will make
>it sound less like you are begging them to help you make one of your
>dreams come true and more like you are presenting them the inevitable
>future and giving them a chance to get on board early on.

Of course, this is exactly the thing I would not have considered. :)

>In the related projects part, I feel there is some distant similarity
>between your arrow work and Ted Nelson's ZigZag:
>    http://www.sfc.keio.ac.jp/~ted/
>When reading your proposal, any hype saavy evaluator will think
>"doesn't XML already do this?" So you might want to write a line or two
>on why it doesn't.

Hm. I see. That might be a little trickier to explain. I'll see if I 
can incorporate that, though. Thanks.

>Thanks for sharing this with us,
>-- Jecel

And thanks for your feedback,